Friday, March 26, 2010

Reasons Caps Fans Hate The Penguins

As Caps fans, we're a bitter sort. We've only ever made the Stanley Cup Finals once (and didn't win), we seem to blow playoff series leads like bubbles, and as great as some of our teams have been, the Pittsburgh Penguins always seem to be better at exactly the right time. Thus, Caps fans hate Pittsburgh. But not for the reasons you think. Here are the REAL Top 10 reasons Caps fans hate the Penguins:
10.) Jaromir Jagr's hair. When the Caps signed Jagr, we expected his vintage 1993 Penguins hair. We were robbed.

9.) Ulf Samuelsson. If you keep your knee away from Cam Neely in 1991, you know you never make it to the Finals. Everyone knows it.

8.) Matt Bradley. You just had to have him before us, didn't you?

7.) 1994 Playoffs. The ONE year we win in the playoffs, the NHL decides it's time for the Rangers to win a Cup. I blame you Pittsburgh.

6.) Colin Campbell. He was a Penguin before his new job: Ovechkin Suspender

5.) The Cartoon Penguin Logo. I hate cartoons now, thanks to you. You've ruined all my good childhood memories. Screw you Go-bots.

4.) Ron Tugnutt. You know why, Ron. You know why.

3.) 66. Because double numbers over 55 are silly. Come on Mario...

2.) Zarley Zalapski. As hard as we tried with Zednik, Zettler, Zezel, Zinger and Zubrus, we could never find a truely awesome 'Z' name.

1.) Ping Pong Balls. Not that we ever wanted Crosby, but you and I both know that ping pong ball said 'Phoenix'.

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