Varly: Blogger

The great Caps Blog Russian Machine Never Breaks reported yesterday that Cap’s goaltender Semyon Varlamov had begun blogging on a Russian language site. While not as quotable as either of the Sashas, Varly has certainly had his fair share of interesting interviews.

With that, I give you the top 10 things Varly will eventually blog about:



10. How “Ovie didn’t even like like Dolce & Gabbana before he met me!”

9. Clearing up that it’s not that he doesn’t like American girls, it’s that they’re all intimidated by his flexibility.

8. A poll asking readers if he should start growing his playoff beard at the start of the playoffs, or start now so he can compete with Alzner's.

7. In-depth statistical analysis on how JP’s Rink Wraps score highly in ‘Blogger CORSI’ rating.

6. How he’ll be changing his number to 80 next season, just to piss of Leonhardt.

5. How he completely understood Avery’s English, and yet none of what he said made any sense.

4. Loads and loads of jokes at Neuvy’s expense.

3. Genuine fear that he’ll catch Irbe running over his pads with a Toyota Tundra.

2. Constant posts about how “that bum Carlson keeps screening me!”

1. His frustration with the media constantly mispronouncing his name. "It’s ‘Семён’ people; it’s not that hard. Sheesh."