Tuesday, April 27, 2010


Yeah, I know... the 'paying final respects' thing failed miserably. I'm trying something new: Insults.
  • Mike Cammalleri is short. Like dwarf-short.
  • Brian Gionta is even shorter. And I know short.
  • Scott Gomez was paid $666k per goal, and $135k per point this season. Great value!! HONK!
  • Montreal's jerseys look HORRIBLY dated. That 1920's look just doesn't work anymore.
  • The last time someone took 54 shots, it was Tony Montana. It didn't end up well for him.
  • Sergei Kostitsyn. Not even the best Kostitsyn.
  • Hal Gill's REAL name is Harold Priestley Gill.
  • Ryan O'Byrne steals purses. Actually, that's not an insult. It's a fact.
  • Strange but true: Roman Hamrlik is NOT Roman. Nor does he lick hammers. Talk about false advertising!
  • Only 5 of the 21 Canadiens that have played in the playoffs are positive or even in +/-, as opposed to 13 of 20 Caps. Because, you know, +/- is THE important stat...
  • Our goalie has more 'V's in his name than yours. Pbbbt!
I have a ton more, but it's Montreal... they're not worth my effort to type up.

Oh, lastly, a joke I once heard:
In court the other day there was a case regarding the custody of a small child.
The judge asked the boy, "do you want to live with your mother?"
He replied, "No I don't want to live with her because she beats me!".
The judge then asked, "Do you want to live with your father?"
The boy stated, "No he beats me too."
Finally the judge asked, "where do you want to live"
The child responded, "I want to live with the Montreal Canadiens!".
The judge asked, "Why do you want to live with the Montreal Canadiens?"
The boy exclaimed, "Because the Montreal Canadiens don't beat anybody!"

1 comment:

  1. Wait wait wait, is Kevin making short jokes like me making pollock jokes? hmmmmm