Mops and Brooms

Yesterday, the Greatest Owner in Professional Sports Ted Leonsis said he would actively participate in cleaning up the Verizon Center after a game. Having seen Ted and his son wait in line to buy merchandise, having heard him speak to fellow riders of a crowded Kettler elevator about the success of the Caps’ fan relations efforts, I genuinely believe Ted will do the same with his own staff at the Phone Booth and make changes where they're needed.

But I hope Ted is ready for what he’ll find after a Caps game. It won’t be as easy as grabbing a broom or a mop. Here are some of the things Ted should be aware of before he sets out with the cleaning crew:

-No matter how hard you scrub the arena’s seats, those horrid purple-colored stains just won’t come out.

-You’ll find a slight difference between the upper and lower levels as far as the amount of cleaning needed. Lower level: light dusting. Upper level: power washing, with the occasional use of a sand blaster.

-When you’re finished cleaning the home team penalty box, Alex Semin likes it if you leave a mint for him for the next game.

-When these make it onto the merchandise racks, they should immediately be placed in the trash.

-I doubt you’d pick a Game 7 for your post game ride-along. But if you do, all the arena’s garbage will be probably somewhere on the ice surface.

-Craig Laughlin is always drawing on the ‘Telestrator’ with a Sharpie, so have some Windex handy. (Someone really needs to tell him CSN has never owned a Telestrator…)

-When you take the trash out to the dumpsters, you need to make sure Sean Avery goes into the ‘compostables’ container. If he gets into the ‘aluminum cans’ container, it causes all sorts of issues for the people at the recycling plant.

-When you run out of cleaning rags, there should be a few of these you can use.

-You can’t just flush the Sidney Crosby pictures out of the urinals. You have to reach in and grab them.