Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Your Hockey Friends

As hockey fans, many of us tend to hang out with hockey people. We chime in on blogs and message boards. In bars and at parties, we're the ones standing in the corner talking about starting goaltenders and defensive prospects. When people come to join in, they usually start with 'How good is that Ovechkin guy, huh!?' and get stared at. There's nothing wrong with it, as every professional sport has the same type of culture.

But with this type of culture comes a problem: what happens when your friends aren't Caps fans, or aren't the same type of fan as you? I've come up with a handy cheat sheet to help you accurately identify which type of hockey fans your friends are.

Dr. Stats: This guy can explain in depth why he thinks his team is better. He's always on every team's blogs gathering info to be smarter in conversation. Sometimes the arguments make sense, sometimes things like "Statistically, the Panthers' goaltending is just better." fall on deaf ears.

Mr. Deferential: This guy isn't looking for trouble. He's still a die hard fan of his team, but he's not the type to trash talk. Most likely, he'll say non-controversial things like "You guys are right up there with the Devils for sure. In the Eastern Conference, it'll probably be one of the two of us." and completely diffuse any argument before it begins. Also known as Mr. Frustrating.

The Belligerent Guy: We all have this friend. He's the guy who says things like "Well you guys just suck!", and "That Ovechkin guy is terrible!!" He's really annoying, but he's always picking up the tab so you keep him around. Secretly, he has a Mike Green poster in his room. The one with the tank top and tattoos.

Captian Sarcastic: This guy asks loaded questions, such as "Why are there only 3 games pre-Ovechkin in your '10 Greatest Games box set? Didn't you guys start playing in 1974?" but you know he's just bitter because one of those 3 is Hunter beating his Flyers in OT.

Ms. Transplant: She'll always root for her how team, but her allegiances are torn. She'll wear her Red Wings jersey to a Caps/Wings game, but jump up and cheer when Semin puts one in. She REALLY loved it when Fedorov was here.

Mr. Friendly Fire: This guy IS a Caps fan, but his reasons for liking or not liking the team are always different than yours. He'll say things like "They just need to trade Green!" when you try to argue that #52's presence on the blueline is necessary.

The Fantasy Islander, aka 'Tattoo': Also a Caps fan but he'll root for anyone on his fantasy team, even if they're playing against the Caps. "GO BOGOSIAN GO!" should never be yelled by a guy in a Laich jersey. Ever.

Kenny Rogers: This guy is a gambler. He's willing to bet you on any game or game-within-the-game. "$20 says Bradley doesn't get any assists tonight!"

Darth Vader: He's always trying to get you to say his team is better. "Come on. You know Pittsburgh is better. Just say it." But don't worry and hold your ground... The Force is strong and the Dark Side will be defeated.

Hopefully you'll now be able to identify your friends and respond accordingly.

1 comment:

  1. Darth Vader...haha.

    I make it my business not to be friends with Pittsburgh fans. That would be like being friends with someone who kills puppies. Their behavior is indicative of a highly flawed character.